The Keeper of Your Secrets: The Ellis in Wunderland Podcast Episode

The Keeper of Your Secrets: The Ellis in Wunderland Podcast Episode

I recently had the pleasure of talking with Georgia Ellis on her podcast, Ellis in Wunderland. Georgia nicknamed me "The Keeper of Secrets" as we talked about my approach to the doctor-patient relationship. Also in the episode, we discussed neurobiology, leadership,...

In the Tunnel: The Solitude of Excellence

In the Tunnel: The Solitude of Excellence

Today I am sharing another article I have written for Steven Kotler and his newest endeavor, The Flow Research Collective (AKA The Collective). It's an installment in the series Shrink Rap, where psychologists discuss the frontiers of human excellence. As a shrink,...

The One Thing You Can Do Tonight to Feel Better Tomorrow

The One Thing You Can Do Tonight to Feel Better Tomorrow

What if I told you there is something you can start tonight that will yield psychological benefits tomorrow? Would you do it? If it was a pill, would you take it? Consider these additional facts about what I am going to suggest in today’s post:   It’s free to...

How to Inoculate Yourself Against the Fear of Rejection

How to Inoculate Yourself Against the Fear of Rejection

I recorded a podcast with Jennifer Tracy of the MILF podcast a few months back and something I said garnered a bit of inquiry from listeners. I mentioned that I had decided several years back to “inoculate myself against rejection.” In one of my many email attempts to...

The 5 Secret Ingredients That Influence All High Performers

The 5 Secret Ingredients That Influence All High Performers

I got you here because of the title of this essay. Plain and simple. It’s Psychology 101. If I title something in a certain way, you are going to click on the link. And lists, recipes and anything that promises a quick fix are top of the list of most viewed articles...

Struggle: The Remedy is in the Wrestle

Struggle: The Remedy is in the Wrestle

I’ve logged a lot of hours in the pain cave, both self-inflicted and at the hands of others. There is no end to the various ways I have entered the arena with the gladiator that is pain and suffering. Toe-to-toe I found myself constantly returning to this wrestle, to...

Six Sneaky Habits That Fuel Self-Sabotage

Six Sneaky Habits That Fuel Self-Sabotage

In this blog I will list the six sneaky (and highly common) ways people engage in self-sabotage and don’t even realize it. Remember, it’s our unconscious patterns that rule the roost. Start to observe the things you don’t even recognize as unusual.

Defense Mechanisms: The Department of Homeland Security

Defense Mechanisms: The Department of Homeland Security

Defense mechanisms are like your personal department of homeland security; they are taxed with the job of protecting your interior landscape from domestic threats of psychological terror. Defense mechanisms protect you from the intensity of your feelings. Their intentions are always in your best interest, despite the consequences of their tactics. And there are always consequences. It just how it goes. 

Sabotage: An Inside Job

Sabotage: An Inside Job

I work in clandestine realms. Shadowy and furtive by nature, I orbit in the background, the underbelly of your mind.

You will not see me coming.

 

I’ve infiltrated the velvet ropes and I have free reign over your unconscious landscape. I roam pathways and corridors that even you don’t know exist.

You cannot hear me coming.

 

I am suspicious of change and progress. I detonate, undetected, as soon as I feel threatened. I live parasitically inside of you.

You will always be caught flatfooted.

 

My networks are savvy, tactical, and coordinated.

You will not smell, feel, or anticipate my presence.

 

I am relentless and I am unpredictable.

 

This is an inside job.

 

Do you know who I am?

 

I am sabotage.

The Power of the Pivot

The Power of the Pivot

There is power in the pivot. Momentum, agility, and instinct converge to create a (seemingly) sudden action that that has the potential to change the course of our life. Literally. The ability to pivot, to course correct, is an integral component of psychological wellness. To master this ability means to re-examine the meaning of failure, disappointment, loss, and self-doubt. Our ability to change our mind, to change our behavior is a critical component to our ability to adapt and adjust. This concept is at the heart of what psychologists refer to as resiliency. Also layer into this notion the idea of emotional agility and grit and you have the making of something profound. But also deeply difficult to achieve, maintain, and sustain. 

Fear: A Master of Disguise

Fear: A Master of Disguise

We all know the overt and obvious ways that fear operates, such as phobias, panic attacks, and the like. But in this blog we are going to examine the covert language of fear. I want you to start to observe how fear is also a master of disguise. It cloaks itself in other more seductive costumes, like bravery, perfectionism, anger, arrogance, people pleasing, FOMO, and adrenaline junkies (to name only a few). Often the very parts of our personality we are most wedded to are simply efforts to compensate for, keep ourselves distant from, or otherwise control fear. And most of the time, because of the power of the unconscious, people are completely unaware of how these dynamics operate in their life.

Unconscious, It Is – What Yoda Teaches Us about The Power of the Unconscious.

Unconscious, It Is – What Yoda Teaches Us about The Power of the Unconscious.

Luke Skywalker:
What's in there?
Yoda:
Only what you take with you.

I love this scene in Star Wars: Empire Strikes Back because I believe it perfectly illustrates the role of the unconscious in our lives. In this scene, Luke turns to enter a spooky and dark cave and what he comes face to face with is the feared (and unconscious) forces of darkness and anger personified by the presence of Darth Vader. In his vision, he enters in to battle with Vader and eventually decapitates him. The cinematic insinuation is that Luke has deeply unresolved issues related to his own core identity as a man and a Jedi.

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